My mom refuses to say there is anything wrong with how the Half & Half tastes. I have my suspicions that she left it out of the refrigerator too long as she has done before. Either way, I have no other choice than to drink it. What won’t kill me will only make me stronger.
Yesterday I had my appointment with my psychiatrist. It went well. He explained that he couldn’t treat my anxiety by medication otherwise I would look over-medicated. So to treat it, he wants me to get a job. I am both nervous and excited, but more nervous than excited. The interview process is what does me in and just typing that is giving me slight panic. I’m going to start simple like a job at Books A Million or Publix maybe. Just to get my feet wet then maybe after a while I can attempt some college courses.
My doctor says the job will really help my brain — by function and activity. He says it will also help my social anxiety which I am doubtful of because in my last job as a pharmacy tech, I still had social anxiety. I was fine with my white lab coat on, but take it off and I was a nervous wreck. I never wanted to go anywhere or do anything. I was in a relationship, too, and anytime we had to see his family I was freaking out.
I don’t know why I get like this. It’s like I don’t want to even be in public. I have to go shopping for work clothes (you know, black slacks and a couple blouses and some shoes so I can interview) and I am not looking forward to it at all. My sister will be with me, but it still could be a disaster because sometimes we don’t get along as well as we think we are capable of.