I went on a drive last night. I think I purposely chose the route I went because I ended up driving past your neighborhood. It once was our neighborhood. For a little while at least. I don’t know why I drove that route. What I planned to have accomplished in doing so. My mood fell heavy of course. I miss us, but I don’t. It’s kind of weird like that, you know?
You never really were my “type”, if I have one. I even question if I loved you or just loved the idea of being in a relationship at the time. You brooded a lot. I never liked that. You picked on me like an older brother. And when my mental health problems started and I was trying to help myself you never supported me then either. I will never forget the time you called me a pill popper at a Chili’s because I had to take one of my medications with food. I was so embarrassed even if you were speaking in jest. Yes, the other tables did hear you.
I can’t say I wasn’t tempted to drive by the house. Total creeper, I know. But you know what stopped me? I was afraid of seeing another girl’s car in your driveway. Or you walking the dog, which I doubt you do, but you never know. Because even though I may not want you, or I do and am just unwilling to admit it since I know it will never happen, another girl would still irk me. And I am kind of laughing about that now.
I went on a drive last night. I think I purposely chose the route because I ended up driving past your neighborhood. I think I need a new route.